Posts
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
130-150 Character SmS, Good Morning Sms,
Monday, May 24, 2010
Martin Luther King, Quotes
If physical death is the price that I must pay to free my white brothers and sisters from a permanent death of the spirit, then nothing can be more redemptive.
Martin Luther King, Jr.
If we are to go forward, we must go back and rediscover those precious values - that all reality hinges on moral foundations and that all reality has spiritual control.
Martin Luther King, Jr.
In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.
Martin Luther King, Jr.
Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.
Martin Luther King, Jr.
It is incontestable and deplorable that Negroes have committed crimes; but they are derivative crimes. They are born of the greater crimes of the white society.
Martin Luther King, Jr.
It is not enough to say we must not wage war. It is necessary to love peace and sacrifice for it.
Martin Luther King, Jr.
It may be true that the law cannot make a man love me, but it can keep him from lynching me, and I think that's pretty important.
Martin Luther King, Jr.
Law and order exist for the purpose of establishing justice and when they fail in this purpose they become the dangerously structured dams that block the flow of social progress.
Martin Luther King, Jr.
Life's most persistent and urgent question is, 'What are you doing for others?'
Martin Luther King, Jr.
Life's most urgent question is: what are you doing for others?
Martin Luther King, Jr.
Love is the only force capable of transforming an enemy into friend.
Martin Luther King, Jr.
Man must evolve for all human conflict a method which rejects revenge, aggression and retaliation. The foundation of such a method is love.
Martin Luther King, Jr.
Means we use must be as pure as the ends we seek.
Martin Luther King, Jr.
Never forget that everything Hitler did in Germany was legal.
Martin Luther King, Jr.
Never succumb to the temptation of bitterness.
Martin Luther King, Jr.
Nonviolence is a powerful and just weapon. which cuts without wounding and ennobles the man who wields it. It is a sword that heals.
Martin Luther King, Jr.
Nonviolence means avoiding not only external physical violence but also internal violence of spirit. You not only refuse to shoot a man, but you refuse to hate him.
Martin Luther King, Jr.
Nothing in all the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity.
Martin Luther King, Jr.
Nothing in the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity.
Martin Luther King, Jr.
One of the greatest casualties of the war in Vietnam is the Great Society... shot down on the battlefield of Vietnam.
Martin Luther King, Jr.
Martin Luther King, Jr.
If we are to go forward, we must go back and rediscover those precious values - that all reality hinges on moral foundations and that all reality has spiritual control.
Martin Luther King, Jr.
In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.
Martin Luther King, Jr.
Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.
Martin Luther King, Jr.
It is incontestable and deplorable that Negroes have committed crimes; but they are derivative crimes. They are born of the greater crimes of the white society.
Martin Luther King, Jr.
It is not enough to say we must not wage war. It is necessary to love peace and sacrifice for it.
Martin Luther King, Jr.
It may be true that the law cannot make a man love me, but it can keep him from lynching me, and I think that's pretty important.
Martin Luther King, Jr.
Law and order exist for the purpose of establishing justice and when they fail in this purpose they become the dangerously structured dams that block the flow of social progress.
Martin Luther King, Jr.
Life's most persistent and urgent question is, 'What are you doing for others?'
Martin Luther King, Jr.
Life's most urgent question is: what are you doing for others?
Martin Luther King, Jr.
Love is the only force capable of transforming an enemy into friend.
Martin Luther King, Jr.
Man must evolve for all human conflict a method which rejects revenge, aggression and retaliation. The foundation of such a method is love.
Martin Luther King, Jr.
Means we use must be as pure as the ends we seek.
Martin Luther King, Jr.
Never forget that everything Hitler did in Germany was legal.
Martin Luther King, Jr.
Never succumb to the temptation of bitterness.
Martin Luther King, Jr.
Nonviolence is a powerful and just weapon. which cuts without wounding and ennobles the man who wields it. It is a sword that heals.
Martin Luther King, Jr.
Nonviolence means avoiding not only external physical violence but also internal violence of spirit. You not only refuse to shoot a man, but you refuse to hate him.
Martin Luther King, Jr.
Nothing in all the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity.
Martin Luther King, Jr.
Nothing in the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity.
Martin Luther King, Jr.
One of the greatest casualties of the war in Vietnam is the Great Society... shot down on the battlefield of Vietnam.
Martin Luther King, Jr.
Martin Luther King, Quotes
Faith is taking the first step even when you don't see the whole staircase.
Martin Luther King, Jr.
Freedom is never voluntarily given by the oppressor; it must be demanded by the oppressed.
Martin Luther King, Jr.
Have we not come to such an impasse in the modern world that we must love our enemies - or else? The chain reaction of evil - hate begetting hate, wars producing more wars - must be broken, or else we shall be plunged into the dark abyss of annihilation.
Martin Luther King, Jr.
He who passively accepts evil is as much involved in it as he who helps to perpetrate it. He who accepts evil without protesting against it is really cooperating with it.
Martin Luther King, Jr.
History will have to record that the greatest tragedy of this period of social transition was not the strident clamor of the bad people, but the appalling silence of the good people.
Martin Luther King, Jr.
Human progress is neither automatic nor inevitable... Every step toward the goal of justice requires sacrifice, suffering, and struggle; the tireless exertions and passionate concern of dedicated individuals.
Martin Luther King, Jr.
Human salvation lies in the hands of the creatively maladjusted.
Martin Luther King, Jr.
I am not interested in power for power's sake, but I'm interested in power that is moral, that is right and that is good.
Martin Luther King, Jr.
I believe that unarmed truth and unconditional love will have the final word in reality. This is why right, temporarily defeated, is stronger than evil triumphant.
Martin Luther King, Jr.
I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character.
Martin Luther King, Jr.
I have a dream that one day every valley shall be exalted, every hill and mountain shall be made low, the rough places will be made straight and the glory of the Lord shall be revealed and all flesh shall see it together.
Martin Luther King, Jr.
I have a dream that one day on the red hills of Georgia, the sons of former slaves and the sons of former slave owners will be able to sit together at the table of brotherhood.
Martin Luther King, Jr.
I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear.
Martin Luther King, Jr.
I just want to do God's will. And he's allowed me to go to the mountain. And I've looked over, and I've seen the promised land! I may not get there with you, but I want you to know tonight that we as a people will get to the promised land.
Martin Luther King, Jr.
I look to a day when people will not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character.
Martin Luther King, Jr.
I refuse to accept the view that mankind is so tragically bound to the starless midnight of racism and war that the bright daybreak of peace and brotherhood can never become a reality... I believe that unarmed truth and unconditional love will have the final word.
Martin Luther King, Jr.
I submit that an individual who breaks the law that conscience tells him is unjust and willingly accepts the penalty by staying in jail to arouse the conscience of the community over its injustice, is in reality expressing the very highest respect for law.
Martin Luther King, Jr.
I submit to you that if a man hasn't discovered something that he will die for, he isn't fit to live.
Martin Luther King, Jr.
I want to be the white man's brother, not his brother-in-law.
Martin Luther King, Jr.
If a man hasn't discovered something that he will die for, he isn't fit to live.
Martin Luther King, Jr.
Martin Luther King, Jr.
Freedom is never voluntarily given by the oppressor; it must be demanded by the oppressed.
Martin Luther King, Jr.
Have we not come to such an impasse in the modern world that we must love our enemies - or else? The chain reaction of evil - hate begetting hate, wars producing more wars - must be broken, or else we shall be plunged into the dark abyss of annihilation.
Martin Luther King, Jr.
He who passively accepts evil is as much involved in it as he who helps to perpetrate it. He who accepts evil without protesting against it is really cooperating with it.
Martin Luther King, Jr.
History will have to record that the greatest tragedy of this period of social transition was not the strident clamor of the bad people, but the appalling silence of the good people.
Martin Luther King, Jr.
Human progress is neither automatic nor inevitable... Every step toward the goal of justice requires sacrifice, suffering, and struggle; the tireless exertions and passionate concern of dedicated individuals.
Martin Luther King, Jr.
Human salvation lies in the hands of the creatively maladjusted.
Martin Luther King, Jr.
I am not interested in power for power's sake, but I'm interested in power that is moral, that is right and that is good.
Martin Luther King, Jr.
I believe that unarmed truth and unconditional love will have the final word in reality. This is why right, temporarily defeated, is stronger than evil triumphant.
Martin Luther King, Jr.
I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character.
Martin Luther King, Jr.
I have a dream that one day every valley shall be exalted, every hill and mountain shall be made low, the rough places will be made straight and the glory of the Lord shall be revealed and all flesh shall see it together.
Martin Luther King, Jr.
I have a dream that one day on the red hills of Georgia, the sons of former slaves and the sons of former slave owners will be able to sit together at the table of brotherhood.
Martin Luther King, Jr.
I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear.
Martin Luther King, Jr.
I just want to do God's will. And he's allowed me to go to the mountain. And I've looked over, and I've seen the promised land! I may not get there with you, but I want you to know tonight that we as a people will get to the promised land.
Martin Luther King, Jr.
I look to a day when people will not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character.
Martin Luther King, Jr.
I refuse to accept the view that mankind is so tragically bound to the starless midnight of racism and war that the bright daybreak of peace and brotherhood can never become a reality... I believe that unarmed truth and unconditional love will have the final word.
Martin Luther King, Jr.
I submit that an individual who breaks the law that conscience tells him is unjust and willingly accepts the penalty by staying in jail to arouse the conscience of the community over its injustice, is in reality expressing the very highest respect for law.
Martin Luther King, Jr.
I submit to you that if a man hasn't discovered something that he will die for, he isn't fit to live.
Martin Luther King, Jr.
I want to be the white man's brother, not his brother-in-law.
Martin Luther King, Jr.
If a man hasn't discovered something that he will die for, he isn't fit to live.
Martin Luther King, Jr.
Martin Luther King, Quotes
A genuine leader is not a searcher for consensus but a molder of consensus.
Martin Luther King, Jr.
A lie cannot live.
Martin Luther King, Jr.
A man can't ride your back unless it's bent.
Martin Luther King, Jr.
A man who won't die for something is not fit to live.
Martin Luther King, Jr.
A nation or civilization that continues to produce soft-minded men purchases its own spiritual death on the installment plan.
Martin Luther King, Jr.
A nation that continues year after year to spend more money on military defense than on programs of social uplift is approaching spiritual doom.
Martin Luther King, Jr.
A right delayed is a right denied.
Martin Luther King, Jr.
A riot is at bottom the language of the unheard.
Martin Luther King, Jr.
A riot is the language of the unheard.
Martin Luther King, Jr.
All labor that uplifts humanity has dignity and importance and should be undertaken with painstaking excellence.
Martin Luther King, Jr.
All progress is precarious, and the solution of one problem brings us face to face with another problem.
Martin Luther King, Jr.
Almost always, the creative dedicated minority has made the world better.
Martin Luther King, Jr.
An individual has not started living until he can rise above the narrow confines of his individualistic concerns to the broader concerns of all humanity.
Martin Luther King, Jr.
An individual who breaks a law that conscience tells him is unjust, and who willingly accepts the penalty of imprisonment in order to arouse the conscience of the community over its injustice, is in reality expressing the highest respect for the law.
Martin Luther King, Jr.
At the center of non-violence stands the principle of love.
Martin Luther King, Jr.
Change does not roll in on the wheels of inevitability, but comes through continuous struggle. And so we must straighten our backs and work for our freedom. A man can't ride you unless your back is bent.
Martin Luther King, Jr.
Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.
Martin Luther King, Jr.
Discrimination is a hellhound that gnaws at Negroes in every waking moment of their lives to remind them that the lie of their inferiority is accepted as truth in the society dominating them.
Martin Luther King, Jr.
Every man must decide whether he will walk in the light of creative altruism or in the darkness of destructive selfishness.
Martin Luther King, Jr.
Everything that we see is a shadow cast by that which we do not see.
Martin Luther King, Jr.
Martin Luther King, Jr.
A lie cannot live.
Martin Luther King, Jr.
A man can't ride your back unless it's bent.
Martin Luther King, Jr.
A man who won't die for something is not fit to live.
Martin Luther King, Jr.
A nation or civilization that continues to produce soft-minded men purchases its own spiritual death on the installment plan.
Martin Luther King, Jr.
A nation that continues year after year to spend more money on military defense than on programs of social uplift is approaching spiritual doom.
Martin Luther King, Jr.
A right delayed is a right denied.
Martin Luther King, Jr.
A riot is at bottom the language of the unheard.
Martin Luther King, Jr.
A riot is the language of the unheard.
Martin Luther King, Jr.
All labor that uplifts humanity has dignity and importance and should be undertaken with painstaking excellence.
Martin Luther King, Jr.
All progress is precarious, and the solution of one problem brings us face to face with another problem.
Martin Luther King, Jr.
Almost always, the creative dedicated minority has made the world better.
Martin Luther King, Jr.
An individual has not started living until he can rise above the narrow confines of his individualistic concerns to the broader concerns of all humanity.
Martin Luther King, Jr.
An individual who breaks a law that conscience tells him is unjust, and who willingly accepts the penalty of imprisonment in order to arouse the conscience of the community over its injustice, is in reality expressing the highest respect for the law.
Martin Luther King, Jr.
At the center of non-violence stands the principle of love.
Martin Luther King, Jr.
Change does not roll in on the wheels of inevitability, but comes through continuous struggle. And so we must straighten our backs and work for our freedom. A man can't ride you unless your back is bent.
Martin Luther King, Jr.
Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.
Martin Luther King, Jr.
Discrimination is a hellhound that gnaws at Negroes in every waking moment of their lives to remind them that the lie of their inferiority is accepted as truth in the society dominating them.
Martin Luther King, Jr.
Every man must decide whether he will walk in the light of creative altruism or in the darkness of destructive selfishness.
Martin Luther King, Jr.
Everything that we see is a shadow cast by that which we do not see.
Martin Luther King, Jr.
Kiss Me Sms
☻A peach is a peach.a plum is a plum.a kiss aint a kiss unless its wiv tongues.so open ur mouth & close ur eyes & give ur tongue some exercise
☻KISS is purely organic and naturally sweet,
has no artificial ingredients and
is 100% wholesome.
Here’s one for you.
MMWAAAH! Have a nice day!
☻Love is the name,kiss is the game forget the name lets play the game.
☻Wen nite cums look 2 da sky,
if u c a falling star dont wonder Y.
Just make a vsh,
trust me it will cum true,
coz wen i did it, i found U.
☻Love is heat.
You are sweet.
When two Lips are meet.
Love is complete.
☻If u read,u owe me a HUG,
if u delete,u Owe me a kiss,
if u save,u owe me a DATE,
if u return txt msg 2 me,
u OWE me All,
bt if u ignore,
U r MINe!
So wat will U do?
☻"Where should one use perfume?"
a young woman asked.
"Wherever one wants to be kissed,"
I said.
☻if i could bring back memories i would bring the first day i kissed you i look you in the eyes and felt love.thanks god an angel came into my life!
☻Love is blind
Be very kind
when I kiss you
Please don’t mind.
☻My love for you grows more with each passing day,
The thought of your gorgeous face takes my breath away:
Those brown eyes fill my soul with happiness,
Those luscious lips I love to kiss.
☻My eyes are eager to see you,
my ears are eager to listen you,
my lips are eager to kiss you,
and my dreams in night are eager to welcome you
☻U r sweeter than honey. purer than milk. softer than flower. since i have u as my lover, come to me near, i'll kiss ur lips without fear. u'll say, having u is treasure & be wit me for ever.
☻The fluffy cloud may kiss the sky,
the rose may kiss the butterfly,
the morning due may kiss the grass
but you my friend may kiss my lips!!
☻I'm a kisser, i kiss people for money
I'm a kisser, i kiss people for money, but you are my friend
I ll KISS YOU FOR FREE !!
☻cut a fish in a dish,
if you love me
give me a KISS
☻Son: The girl of our neighbors
don’t understand English.
Father: How do you know?
Son: I said to her “Give Me Sweet Kiss”
and she slapped me.
☻A kiss is an inquiry in the upper Floor about vacancy in the lower floor.
☻Whats life ? Life is love.
Whats love ? Love is kissing.
Whats kissing ? Come here and I show you.
I”ve been thinking about u and me..
if we were alone how it would be..
I would kiss u all over till ur feeling hot..
then give u a sensation when I hit the spot!
☻What is Kiss? Kiss is an upper preparation for lower invasion, that will lead to further penetation,in fast acceleration that will build the next generation.
☻If I had one wish
I would give you a long and tender kiss
and if I had two wishes
then I would choose to do it over again.
☻If luvin” was aginst the law,
and kissin” was a crime,
i would gladly spend my life with u,
in prison doin” time.
☻“Give me a kiss, and to that kiss a score;
Then to that twenty, add a hundred more:
A thousand to that hundred: so kiss on,
To make that thousand up a million.
Treble that million, and when that is done,
Let”s kiss afresh, as when we first begun.”
☻A peach is a peach.
a plum is a plum.
a kiss is not a kiss unless its with tongues.
so open ur mouth & close ur eyes & give ur tongue some exercise.
☻Whats life ? Life is love.
Whats love ? Love is kissing.
Whats kissing ? Come here and I show you
☻Kissing you baby is my dream.
I am strawberry & you are the cream.
Handle me gently keep me real keen.
U & i together babes is passion so extreme!
☻Give me one kiss to go to sleep.
Give me two kisses to dream.
Give me an endless row of kisses to,
when I wake up in the morning,
think of you as the last kiss I never forget it.
☻what kisses mean
KISS ON HAND=i adore u,
KISS ON CHEEK=lets be friends,
KISS ON NECK=i want u,
KISS ON LIPS=i love u,
KISS ANYWHERE ELSE=…lets not get carried away!
☻Nice Kiss is on Head.
Sweet Kiss is on Cheeks.
Passionate Kiss is on Lips.
Romantic Kiss is on Neck
and
Seriously Hottest Kiss is on “IRON”
Try it now. Mmmmuah
☻Kisses blown are kisses wasted.
kisses are not kisses unless they are tasted.
kisses spread germs and germs are hated.
but you can kiss me baby i am vaccinated
☻Kiss is a key of love
love is a lock of marriage
marriage is a box of children
children is a problem of world.
Please stop kissing
and
save the world.
☻If kisses were water,
I will give you the sea,
If hugs were leaves,
I will give you a tree,
If you love a planet,
I will give you a galaxy,
If friendship is life,
I will give you mine.
☻Never ask 4 a kiss, just take it.
Never give a hug, ask 4 it.
Never ask do u love me, first say I love u.
Never say I cant live without u, say I live for u.
☻Kissing you baby is my dream.Im the strawberry & ur the cream.Handle me gently keep me real keen.U & i together babes is passion so extreme!
☻wot kisses mean!KISS ON HAND=i adore u KISS ON CHEEK=lets b friends KISS ON NECK=i want u KISS ON LIPS=i luv u KISS ANYWHERE ELSE=...lets not get carried away!
☻Kisses blown r kisses wasted.kisses rnt kisses unless they r tasted.kisses spread germs and germs r hated.but u can kiss me baby im vaccinated
Poetry SMS
☻Medical poem
When you breathe, you respire!
Wah Wah!
When you breathe, you respire!
Wah Wah!
When you don’t breathe, you expire!
☻Please remind me 2 remind u about reminding me 2 send u this reminther that reminds me of reminding u that i am always ur friend. DONT 4GET!
☻Far away but always near,
I hold your relationship very clear.
Ever together but never apart,
You will always be in my heart.
☻roses are red violets are blue
i had a dream that never came true
i miss that dream i really do
but not half as mush as i miss you
☻Learn 2 love the people who are willing to love U at present.4get the people in the past & tnk dem 4 hurting U which led U 2 luv d people U have right now.
☻You can fall from the sky.
You can fall from a tree but you will get hurt.
But falling in love with me is like falling in heaven!
☻introduction is possible anytime,
love is possible sometime,
marriage is possible on time,
but friendship btn u & m is possible on once in a life time...
☻i miss u
r u miss me
its u know or God know
but i know about my heart and brain
that is crying everytime for u.
dont froget me.
☻Good time,
bad time,
night time,
day time,
work time,
off time,
sad time,
happy time,
in the mean time i'm thinking of you all the time.
☻American,
a retired sailor.
Has sheaves of notes, maps,
to match rivers & hamlets
with Conrad's childhood.
We see him driving off
in a taxi.
☻Among the stars you´re the one that shines the most.Among the winds you´re the one that brings the warm air.Among the people you´re the one who I wanna give a rose.
☻LUV U
I love u wen u r sad.
I love u wen u r happy.
I love u wen u r teasing.
I love u wen u r laughing.
I love u wen u r angry.
I love u wen u love love me.
☻I lie on the ground,
and stare in2 space,
the stars start to move,
into the shape of your face.
☻If the universe did start wia a bang
wen God loved & da angels sang
1 of da sparks dat flew
chased time 2 become u
☻if i love some1 let them go...
if they return it was meant 2 b...
if they dont their love was never urs 2 begin wif
☻U will alwayz b mine 4 now & 4ever.U will always be mine 4 u r my treasure.
U will alwayz b mine plz tellme its true.Please be mine 4frever ill always love u!
☻The length & breadth & height of you
total up to quite a view,
but to taste the true delight of you
I'll have to take a bite of you
☻forgettin you is hard to do
forgettin me is up to you
forget me not
forget me never
forget this message
but not the sender
☻Among the stars you´re the one that shines the most.
Among the winds you´re the one that brings the warm air.
Among the people you´re the one who I wanna give a rose.
☻Starting a new day,
Starting a new life,
Starting a new page,
In the Endless Book of Life.
☻god in heaven,
god above
please protect the one i love,
sent with a smile,
sealed with a kiss,
i love the one who is reading this
When you breathe, you respire!
Wah Wah!
When you breathe, you respire!
Wah Wah!
When you don’t breathe, you expire!
☻Please remind me 2 remind u about reminding me 2 send u this reminther that reminds me of reminding u that i am always ur friend. DONT 4GET!
☻Far away but always near,
I hold your relationship very clear.
Ever together but never apart,
You will always be in my heart.
☻roses are red violets are blue
i had a dream that never came true
i miss that dream i really do
but not half as mush as i miss you
☻Learn 2 love the people who are willing to love U at present.4get the people in the past & tnk dem 4 hurting U which led U 2 luv d people U have right now.
☻You can fall from the sky.
You can fall from a tree but you will get hurt.
But falling in love with me is like falling in heaven!
☻introduction is possible anytime,
love is possible sometime,
marriage is possible on time,
but friendship btn u & m is possible on once in a life time...
☻i miss u
r u miss me
its u know or God know
but i know about my heart and brain
that is crying everytime for u.
dont froget me.
☻Good time,
bad time,
night time,
day time,
work time,
off time,
sad time,
happy time,
in the mean time i'm thinking of you all the time.
☻American,
a retired sailor.
Has sheaves of notes, maps,
to match rivers & hamlets
with Conrad's childhood.
We see him driving off
in a taxi.
☻Among the stars you´re the one that shines the most.Among the winds you´re the one that brings the warm air.Among the people you´re the one who I wanna give a rose.
☻LUV U
I love u wen u r sad.
I love u wen u r happy.
I love u wen u r teasing.
I love u wen u r laughing.
I love u wen u r angry.
I love u wen u love love me.
☻I lie on the ground,
and stare in2 space,
the stars start to move,
into the shape of your face.
☻If the universe did start wia a bang
wen God loved & da angels sang
1 of da sparks dat flew
chased time 2 become u
☻if i love some1 let them go...
if they return it was meant 2 b...
if they dont their love was never urs 2 begin wif
☻U will alwayz b mine 4 now & 4ever.U will always be mine 4 u r my treasure.
U will alwayz b mine plz tellme its true.Please be mine 4frever ill always love u!
☻The length & breadth & height of you
total up to quite a view,
but to taste the true delight of you
I'll have to take a bite of you
☻forgettin you is hard to do
forgettin me is up to you
forget me not
forget me never
forget this message
but not the sender
☻Among the stars you´re the one that shines the most.
Among the winds you´re the one that brings the warm air.
Among the people you´re the one who I wanna give a rose.
☻Starting a new day,
Starting a new life,
Starting a new page,
In the Endless Book of Life.
☻god in heaven,
god above
please protect the one i love,
sent with a smile,
sealed with a kiss,
i love the one who is reading this
130-150 Character SmS, Funky Jokes,
☻As much use as a one legged man at an arse kicking competition
☻She's angrier than a Bear with a sore head
☻She's dressed up like a Dogs dinner
☻About as useful as a Condom vending machine in the Vatican.
☻He's that useless he couldn't organise a piss up in a brewery
☻She's been up and down more times than a whore's drawers
☻She's been engaged more times than a telephone switchboard!
☻He's tighter than a photo finish.
☻He's sweating more than a Dog in a restaraunt
☻He's got a head balder than a baby's arse.
☻He's got the dress sense of an Oxfam model.
☻He's got a nose like a blind carpenter's thumb.
☻Last time I saw a face like that it was hanging at the Hunter's Lodge.
☻As much use as a trap door on a lifeboat
☻It's colder than a penguin's bollocks
☻She's got a face like a picture - it needs hanging
☻You've got about as much chance as finding a vegetarian pit bull terrier
☻She's had more pricks than a second hand dartboard
☻As rare as a Blonde virgin
☻I've seen more hair on a billiard ball
☻He's as camp as a row of tents
☻I've seen better teeth on a worn out gear box
☻They call her 'The radio station' cuz she's so easy to pick up
☻As useful as a grave robber in a crematorium
☻You could park a bike on that bum
☻He's as red as an overdrawn account at the local blood bank
☻He's got a face as long as an undertakers tapemeasure
☻Whiter than a pair of Snow White's knickers
☻About as innocent as a Nun doing pressups in a Cucumber field.
☻They've got a picture of her at the hospital - it saves using the stomach pump
☻Lights on, door open, nobody at home
☻As confused as a hungry baby in a topless bar.
☻He's as bent as a butchers hook
☻He's as happy as a Pig in $hit
☻About as welcome as a fart in a telephone box
☻About as subtle as a flying brick
☻She's got more wrinkles than an Elephants scrotum
☻She's more nervous than a long-tailed dog in a room full of rocking chairs
☻As tight as a Camels arse in a Sand-storm
☻She's stroked more wood than a Furniture Polisher.
☻About as interesting as watching paint dry
☻Av seen better looking bodies at a scrapyard
☻I've seen better hands on a clock
☻As confused as a blind lesbian in a fish market
☻He's as baffled as Adam on Mothers Day
☻She's got half the Black Forest hanging out of her armpits
☻As nervous as a turkey at Christmas
☻She's seen more ceilings than Michelagelo
☻She ran off quicker than shit off a shovel
☻She's as fit as a butchers dog
☻She's got a face squeezed like a squeezed tea bag
☻As useful as a one armed trapeze artist with an itchy arse
☻His nose is snottier than a frog in a blender
☻Uglier than a hatfull of assholes.
☻As rare as a brass monkey's bollocks
☻As pissed as a fart in a vacuum cleaner
☻This guy is all foam, no beer.
☻As worn out as a cucumber in a convent.
☻About as useless as a jam sandwidch to a drowning rabbit.
☻A legend in his own mind...
☻He's an expert on padded cells.
☻He couldnae engineer his way outta paper bag!
Funny Jokes
☻20% of the population is now drinking coffee, 60% is having sex, 19% is watching television and one yokel is now holding his mobile in his hand
☻A woman likes to have four animals in the house: a jaguar in front of the doorway, a fox in the closet, a bull in bed, and a numbskulll to pay for this all.
☻Are these your eyes, I found them between my brests!
☻At this moment i have a déjà vu and a loss of memory at the same time. I thin I have forgotten this before.
☻Be friendly with your kids, they choose your home when you are old!
☻Be nice to the ones who smoke.. every cigarette migh be their last.
☻BEEB! Send this message to 5 of your friends and you will have unbelieveble sex tonight! If you break this chain, you'll never have multiple orgasm again!
☻Birdy birdy in the sky, left a poopie in my eye. Me don't care, me don't cry, me just happy that a cow can't fly!!
☻Braindetector activated, calibrating, now searching.........still searching......get a good grip of your mobile....still searching.......no brains found.
☻Did I not see you yesterday at the mall, with a grey jacket? No? O, than it was a rubbish bag after all! .
☻Do not disturb, I am enough disturbed as it is . . .
☻Don't feel sad, don't feel glue, Einstein was ugly too !
☻E man pays $.2,00 for a $.1,00 item that he needs, a woman pays $.1,00 for $.2,00 item that she does not need.
☻Excessive use of alcohol can lead to a pregnancy.
☻For you I would go as far as the end of the world. Do you promise to stay here ?"
☻God created the earth, God created the woods, God created you too, but yes, even God makes mistakes!
☻God created the universe, the earth, nature, the eggs, man and saw that it was good and beautiful. God also created woman and thought : ‘I hope she will make herself up’!
☻HALLO, this is your mobile. There is no particular problem. I just wanted to leave your pocket, want the smell is unbearable!!!
☻Hello I am a virus and I am entering your brain right now..... sorry I will leave, I can't find a brain.
☻Hello, this is GOD. I make few bad creations but you are the worst monster I ever realised. My apologies on behalf of the whole world..
☻How would you like your egg for breakfast.... hard-boiled or impregnated?
☻I am a killer,I kill people for money.....But because you are my friend,I'll kill you for nothing!
☻I am not stupid, I am blond!!! B - L - O - N - T
☻I am not your type ... I am not inflatable.
☻I know why I am single, my parents-in-law were not able to have kids...
☻I like to compare you with a nice cold glass of beer, beautiful colour, perfect taste, really perfect and when the glass is empty i just take the next one!
☻I once sniffed Coke, but the icecubes blocked my nostrils...
☻If being ugly would hurt, you would be in pain all day long.
☻If you have picture where you look old, keep them. In twenty years you can prove that you have not changed a bit.
☻If you really ressemble the picture on your ID, you are not fit enough to travel.
☻Ik would like to be a volcano... smoke all day and people say ... look he is working!
☻In case of fire read this message.....................................I SAID IN CASE OF FIRE YOU FUCKING IDIOT!!
☻It is charming, incredibly handsome, extremely good, well shaped, horny,an animal in bed and it knows one French word ... MOI!!
☻Love me or leave me. Hey,where is everybody going ???
☻Mobile sex: push 1 for oral, 2 for anal, 3 for normal, 4 for a trio, 5 for SM and for everything ... dial my number!
☻My feelings for you are like the sea. " Wild and romantic ? " "No, they make me sick."
☻My mother in law walks five miles every day, I wonder where she is at this moment...
☻Nice perfume... but do you really need to marinate in it?
☻One out of four people is a chinese. If your father, your mother and your brother are not Chinese, it must be you.
☻Opticians bend your the rims/frames of your glasses for they are too polite to say that your ears are in the wrong place.
☻Read in a hospital... The psychiatrist may nog be disturbed
☻roses are red, violets are blue, frankenstein is ugly but what the hell happened to you????
☻roses are red, violets are blue, most poems ryhm, but this one doesn't...
☻Scientists in the US proved that people who do not perform well in bed and who have difficulties to come hold their mobile in their right hand ..................
☻Smoking is allowed in this area, blowing not!
☻The more I learn the more I get to know, the more I know the more I forget, the more I forget the less I know, so why should I be learning??
☻The one who digs a hole for someone else, is sweating blood !
☻They dropped your name, can you pick it up ?
☻This cat, is cat, a cat, good cat, way cat, to cat, keep cat, a cat, idiot cat, busy cat, for cat, 20 cat, seconds cat! Now read it all without the word cat!
☻This is the telephone terrorist team. While receiving this message a virus will be activated. This virus should have infected your mobile by now. Your mobile will be disabled, unless you are ugly.
☻This is your boss: "You are allowed to read the newspaper during the working hours and do certainly not miss the job adds."
☻This sms can only be read by someone SEXY:...try again...again...maybe you are just not sexy?...one more time...hey don't force it ugly!!!
☻Those beautiful eyes, that incredible body, such a brain, a sexy mouth, nice smile .... but that is enough about me, tell me how you are?
☻We cannot grant you a life insurance policy because you are already 102 years old. "I do not understand. It is proven statistically that at that age only few people die."
☻We will now upgrade your brain.......Please wait........Searching.......Searching.......Still searching........Sorry, no brain found !!!
☻What he want, I do not want ... What I want, he does not want ... What we want, is not allowed!
☻When I was a dog, and you were a flower, I walked over you and gave you a shower!!
☻You are an unwanted child. Your parents paid the medical expenses for your birth with their accident insurance.
☻You are never too blond to learn !!!
☻You got STYLE... You got SEX-APPEAL... You got the BRAINS... and you sure as hell got the BODY....WAIT!!!!!...SORRY....wrong number
☻You have the ones that think and you have the ones that do things. The worst kind are those who think that they are doing things.
☻You should know what it takes to look this cheap!
☻You used to be so ugly that your mother had to tie a steak around your neck, otherwise even the dog would not play with you
☻You will have to cut back on your sex live. What part will you leave out, talking about it or thinking about it?
☻You with your beautiful eyes, you with your nice hair, you with your fantastic body ... o, sorry, wrong number
☻You’d better not be a dayfly and not having your day.
☻Your provider adjusted his rates. The rate is determined by the length of your genitalia, the shorter they are, the less you pay. You can telephone for free from now on!
☻It's important to find a man who has money, a man who adores you,a man who is great in the sack. It's also imprtant that these 3 men should never meet!
☻A man can kiss his wife goodbye. A flower can kiss a butterfly.Wine can kiss a frosted glass.But u my friend can kiss my ass!
☻i tried to call you from a payphone last night. i put my doner card in by mistake, it cost me an arm and a leg!
☻Hey can u do me a favour, take a pic of urself n send me it, i'm playin cards n i'm missin the joker!!
☻Hey friend remember dat without stupidity there can be no wisdom & without ugliness there can be no beauty… so the world needs YOU after all!
☻Jesus says to John come forth ill give you eternal life. John came fifth he won a toaster
☻A girl phoned me the other day and said..."Come on over, there's nobody home." I went over. Nobody was home
☻At dis moment in time 10 million people r having sex.5 million people r drinking coffee.100 million people r sleeping & 1 stupid fool is reading my text!pass on
☻The rain makes all things beautiful.The grass & flowers 2. If rain makes all things beautiful why doesn’t it rain on you?
☻i want u 2 know dat our friendship means alot 2 me.U cry i cry.U lauf i lauf.U jump out of da window... I look down & den... i lauf again
Funny Sms
☻Forward to you friends and get funny reply’s. . !
“imagine I am in jail
what you think that
What crime I had done”
Reply must. . .
☻Husband & wife are like liver and kidney.
Husband is liver & wife is kidney.
If liver fails, kidney fails.
If kidney fails, liver manages with other kidney.
☻Birds Birds in the sky dropped a pooty in my eye,
I don”t worry I don”t cry,
I”m just happy that cows can”t fly!
☻If I was an artist,
you would be my picture!
If I was a poet,
you would be my inspiration!
If I was an author you would be my story!
But I'm only a cartoonist!
☻It’s very easy
to eat sweet chocolate,
speak sweet words,
watch sweet dreams
but
It’s very difficult
to
find a sweet person.
but I salute you.
that you find me.
☻Boy: I am not rich like rohit, I don't even have a bid car like rohit. But I really love you!
Girl: I love you too, but tell me more about rohit..
☻Who said English is easy???
Fill in the blank with YES or No…
1.—–I dont have brain…
2.—–I dont have sence…
3.—–I am stupid….
☻Dream makes everything possible, Hope makes everything work, Luv makes everything beautiful, Smile makes all the above... So always Brush ur Teeth
☻What is similarity between Bill Gates and me?
Don’t know??
He never comes to my house
and I never go to his house
EGO PROBLEMS YOU KNOW…
☻Do u know similarity between Dinosaurs and Decent Girls?
Both don't exist.
☻Can we do romance in the evening today?
I’m in a good mood
Just a little bit of kissing and biting
reply me soon!
yours lovingly
“MOSQUITO”
☻A Love Letter from BISCUIT MAKER- Dear Marie, Today is Good Day, U r Anmol for me... But U have Crackjacked my Heart, Bcoz I have a Little Heart, Now I m in 50/50 position...
☻Teacher: Tomorrow there will be a lecture on Sun.
Everyone must attend it.
Raju: No! I will not be able to attend it.
Teacher: Why?
Raju: My mother will not allow me to go so far !!
☻Commerce professor asks the student: what is the most important source of finance for starting business?
Student: "Father in law".
☻World ’s shortest jokes:
2 Women sitting quietly!
2 pathan playing chess!
GirlFriend pays the bill.
Need more?!
U r so beautiful
☻An engineering student to his sweeper brother: I have got degree, I have got knowledge, I can sit in society. What do you have?
Sweeper: I have the job.
☻Wife: Darling today is our anniversary, what should we do?
Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes.
☻Calendar of Love
January = Rose
February = Propose
March = Gift
April = Lift
May = Chatting
June = Dating
July = Miss
August = Kiss
September = Marriage
October = Broke up
November = Rest
December = Next
Have a nice year ahead.
☻Beauty is not how you look, it is not how handsome u r, it is not ur figure too... Beauty is the inner self, so change ur underwear daily.
☻Power of Mathematics
One day a box wasn’t opening.
Lawyer came, applied all laws but it didn’t open
Chemist came, applied all reactions but it didn’t open
Physician came, applied all forces but no change
Even the biologist failed
mathematician came & said
.
.
.
Let’s Suppose the Box is Open
☻Man: Among my 4 sons 3 are engineer.
Friend: 4th?
Man: He didn’t study & became a barber.
Friend: Why don’t you throw him out?
Man: He is the only 1 who earns.
☻Always start your day with a lot of S E X
S-mile
E-nergy
X-citement
so make SEX a daily habit, & u'll always be SMILING!
☻Q: What did the gangster's son tell his dad when he failed his
examination?
A: Dad they questioned me for 3 hours but I never told them anything."
☻In the corridor of a government office
was a sign board reading
“Don’t make any noise.”
Someone added the following words
“Otherwise, we might wake up”
☻Several women appeared in court, each accusing the other of the trouble in the flat where they lived. The judge called for orderly testimony. "I'll hear the oldest first," he decreed. The case was closed for lack of evidence.
☻Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends.
You order what you want, then when you see what the other person has, you wish you had ordered that.
☻A boy came running in the kitchen,
Boy:Dad, There is an ugly monster at the door
Dad(Looking at his wife):
Tell him we have already got one!
☻Good news! A new way to send Romantic kiss to your girlfriend. Just call me and order your kiss. I will personally go and deliver it.
☻Mon to Sun, From Jan To Dec, From birth till my death, my feelings 4 u have never changed. For me, you've always been a headache!
☻Maths teacher asked JOHNY
“If u have 12 chocalate and u give 5 to DONA,
3 to ALICE and 4 to ROMA then wat will u get ?
JOHNY replied “Sir! 3 new girl friends”.
☻It's the sweetest thing to do. Do it the bed, on a sofa, in the bathroom or anywhere! U must never stop doing it. It's called Prayer! God bless ur naughty mind.
☻Guide: I welcome you all to Niagara Falls.
These are the world’s largest waterfalls
and the sound intensity of the waterfall is so high,
even 20 supersonic planes passing by can’t be heard.
Now may I request the ladies to keep quite
so that we can hear the Niagara Falls?
☻There is a sign in the toilet of the sex change clinic. It reads: We may never piss this way again.
☻A chines couple,
Mr Hua & Mrs Hua
got twin babies after marriage.
They named them, Jo-Hua , So-Hua.
Next year they got one more baby.
They named Ye-Kia-Hua
☻Gal: Do u have any sentimental love cards?
Shopkeeper: How about this card, it says 'To the only boy I ever loved'
Gal: Great! I want 10 of them.
☻Announcement in a university:
“Will the students who parked on the driveway, please move their cars…”
20 minutes later:
“Will the 200 students who went to move 9 cars please return to their respective classes…”
☻Hey friend remember that
without stupidity there can be no wisdom
& without ugliness there can be no beauty
so the world needs YOU after all!
☻Police arrested a drunkard & asked:
Where are you going?
Man: I’m going to listen lecture on ill effects of drinking.
Cop: Who’ll lecture at midnight ??
Man: My wife…
☻Do u remember the day we travelled in a car?
I put my dog out of the window,
u put ur face out,
then people started shouting
TWINS TWINS
☻A boy of 1st class to her teacher.
Do you like me?
Miss. So sweet.
Student: When should I sent my parents to your home?
Miss. Why?
Student: To talk about us.
Miss: What are you saying?
Student: For tuition.
☻Boy and girl of class 2 asked teacher:
“can kids of our age have kids?”
Teacher replied ” NO Never!!”
Boy said to girl :
“see i told you not to worry!!!!”.
☻A baby mosquito came back after its 1st fight.
Dad asked: how did u feel?
He replied: Dad it was wonderful.
Everyone was clapping for me
Moral: Take everything positively
☻Father: Your teacher says she finds it
Impossible to teach you anything!
Son: That’s why I say she’s no good!
☻Are you idiot?
Why you keep sending me SMS?
Who gave my number to you?
Never message me again.
Did I ever said that.
Than why don’t you sending SMS.
☻What is the difference between
Monkey & Donkey ?
Monkey saves this message
&
Donkey deletes this message.
Choice is urs……..:p
☻age of drinks;
1 to 3 milk
3 to 8 cerelac
9 to 13 horlicks
14 to 25 bear
26 to 40 whisky
41 to 60 tonic
after 60 anytime
“GANGA JAL
☻Q- What is the height of CONFIDENCE?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Ans- A 99 years old woman buying a SIM card with LIFE-TIME validity.
☻Who walks with us
through the difficult part of life?
Mon Dad?
No!
Husband Wife?
No!
Friends?
No!
One and only our slippers!!!!
So keep them safe
☻LOVE V/S EXAM
LOVE: lots of thoughts in mind but no guts to express
EXAMS: lots of guts to express but no thoughts in mind
☻One frog asked Astrologer: Please tell my future
Astrologer: A smart girl will touch you.
Frog: Great..! But when & where?
Astrologer: next semester in Zoology lab
☻A foreigner had very spicy Indian dinner.
Next morning he came out of the toilet & said,
now i understand Why indian use water.
Tissue Can catch fire…
☻Patient: Please don’t give me the injection.
I’m afraid of it’s pain.
Doctor: Don’t worry!!
I’ll inject you first that kills the pain!!!!
☻Son: The girl of our neighbors
don’t understand English.
Father: How do you know?
Son: I said to her “Give Me Sweet Kiss”
and she slapped me.
☻Funny Definitions
Home: A place where you can scratch where it itches.
Doctor: A person who cures the ills by pills, and kills by his bills.
Love: Loss Of Valuable Energy
Wife: Worries Invited For Ever
☻Mr.Bean got an Invitation for a Party,
They told him that he must put BROWN TIE only.
When he went to party he was shocked?
other were wearing pants & shirts also…
☻A typical student flips a coin and think.
If Head- will go to sleep.
If Tail- will watch a move.
If Stands- will listen music.
If Stays in air- will study
☻He+She= Love.
He+She+Love=Marriage.
He+She+Love+Marriage=Child.
He+She+Love+Marriage+Child=Family.
AND
He+She+Love+Marriage+Child+ Family=Problem.
So my dear friend
Be careful.
☻Hi all,
Let get stupid and Celeberate Miss call day
Send dis msg to ur frnds n get misbels in reply.
But reply me 1st
☻A student wrote a letter
to his father from hostel:
Dear dad…!
No money,No fun.
Your son!
His father replied:
Dear son!
So sad,Very bad
Your dad!
“imagine I am in jail
what you think that
What crime I had done”
Reply must. . .
☻Husband & wife are like liver and kidney.
Husband is liver & wife is kidney.
If liver fails, kidney fails.
If kidney fails, liver manages with other kidney.
☻Birds Birds in the sky dropped a pooty in my eye,
I don”t worry I don”t cry,
I”m just happy that cows can”t fly!
☻If I was an artist,
you would be my picture!
If I was a poet,
you would be my inspiration!
If I was an author you would be my story!
But I'm only a cartoonist!
☻It’s very easy
to eat sweet chocolate,
speak sweet words,
watch sweet dreams
but
It’s very difficult
to
find a sweet person.
but I salute you.
that you find me.
☻Boy: I am not rich like rohit, I don't even have a bid car like rohit. But I really love you!
Girl: I love you too, but tell me more about rohit..
☻Who said English is easy???
Fill in the blank with YES or No…
1.—–I dont have brain…
2.—–I dont have sence…
3.—–I am stupid….
☻Dream makes everything possible, Hope makes everything work, Luv makes everything beautiful, Smile makes all the above... So always Brush ur Teeth
☻What is similarity between Bill Gates and me?
Don’t know??
He never comes to my house
and I never go to his house
EGO PROBLEMS YOU KNOW…
☻Do u know similarity between Dinosaurs and Decent Girls?
Both don't exist.
☻Can we do romance in the evening today?
I’m in a good mood
Just a little bit of kissing and biting
reply me soon!
yours lovingly
“MOSQUITO”
☻A Love Letter from BISCUIT MAKER- Dear Marie, Today is Good Day, U r Anmol for me... But U have Crackjacked my Heart, Bcoz I have a Little Heart, Now I m in 50/50 position...
☻Teacher: Tomorrow there will be a lecture on Sun.
Everyone must attend it.
Raju: No! I will not be able to attend it.
Teacher: Why?
Raju: My mother will not allow me to go so far !!
☻Commerce professor asks the student: what is the most important source of finance for starting business?
Student: "Father in law".
☻World ’s shortest jokes:
2 Women sitting quietly!
2 pathan playing chess!
GirlFriend pays the bill.
Need more?!
U r so beautiful
☻An engineering student to his sweeper brother: I have got degree, I have got knowledge, I can sit in society. What do you have?
Sweeper: I have the job.
☻Wife: Darling today is our anniversary, what should we do?
Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes.
☻Calendar of Love
January = Rose
February = Propose
March = Gift
April = Lift
May = Chatting
June = Dating
July = Miss
August = Kiss
September = Marriage
October = Broke up
November = Rest
December = Next
Have a nice year ahead.
☻Beauty is not how you look, it is not how handsome u r, it is not ur figure too... Beauty is the inner self, so change ur underwear daily.
☻Power of Mathematics
One day a box wasn’t opening.
Lawyer came, applied all laws but it didn’t open
Chemist came, applied all reactions but it didn’t open
Physician came, applied all forces but no change
Even the biologist failed
mathematician came & said
.
.
.
Let’s Suppose the Box is Open
☻Man: Among my 4 sons 3 are engineer.
Friend: 4th?
Man: He didn’t study & became a barber.
Friend: Why don’t you throw him out?
Man: He is the only 1 who earns.
☻Always start your day with a lot of S E X
S-mile
E-nergy
X-citement
so make SEX a daily habit, & u'll always be SMILING!
☻Q: What did the gangster's son tell his dad when he failed his
examination?
A: Dad they questioned me for 3 hours but I never told them anything."
☻In the corridor of a government office
was a sign board reading
“Don’t make any noise.”
Someone added the following words
“Otherwise, we might wake up”
☻Several women appeared in court, each accusing the other of the trouble in the flat where they lived. The judge called for orderly testimony. "I'll hear the oldest first," he decreed. The case was closed for lack of evidence.
☻Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends.
You order what you want, then when you see what the other person has, you wish you had ordered that.
☻A boy came running in the kitchen,
Boy:Dad, There is an ugly monster at the door
Dad(Looking at his wife):
Tell him we have already got one!
☻Good news! A new way to send Romantic kiss to your girlfriend. Just call me and order your kiss. I will personally go and deliver it.
☻Mon to Sun, From Jan To Dec, From birth till my death, my feelings 4 u have never changed. For me, you've always been a headache!
☻Maths teacher asked JOHNY
“If u have 12 chocalate and u give 5 to DONA,
3 to ALICE and 4 to ROMA then wat will u get ?
JOHNY replied “Sir! 3 new girl friends”.
☻It's the sweetest thing to do. Do it the bed, on a sofa, in the bathroom or anywhere! U must never stop doing it. It's called Prayer! God bless ur naughty mind.
☻Guide: I welcome you all to Niagara Falls.
These are the world’s largest waterfalls
and the sound intensity of the waterfall is so high,
even 20 supersonic planes passing by can’t be heard.
Now may I request the ladies to keep quite
so that we can hear the Niagara Falls?
☻There is a sign in the toilet of the sex change clinic. It reads: We may never piss this way again.
☻A chines couple,
Mr Hua & Mrs Hua
got twin babies after marriage.
They named them, Jo-Hua , So-Hua.
Next year they got one more baby.
They named Ye-Kia-Hua
☻Gal: Do u have any sentimental love cards?
Shopkeeper: How about this card, it says 'To the only boy I ever loved'
Gal: Great! I want 10 of them.
☻Announcement in a university:
“Will the students who parked on the driveway, please move their cars…”
20 minutes later:
“Will the 200 students who went to move 9 cars please return to their respective classes…”
☻Hey friend remember that
without stupidity there can be no wisdom
& without ugliness there can be no beauty
so the world needs YOU after all!
☻Police arrested a drunkard & asked:
Where are you going?
Man: I’m going to listen lecture on ill effects of drinking.
Cop: Who’ll lecture at midnight ??
Man: My wife…
☻Do u remember the day we travelled in a car?
I put my dog out of the window,
u put ur face out,
then people started shouting
TWINS TWINS
☻A boy of 1st class to her teacher.
Do you like me?
Miss. So sweet.
Student: When should I sent my parents to your home?
Miss. Why?
Student: To talk about us.
Miss: What are you saying?
Student: For tuition.
☻Boy and girl of class 2 asked teacher:
“can kids of our age have kids?”
Teacher replied ” NO Never!!”
Boy said to girl :
“see i told you not to worry!!!!”.
☻A baby mosquito came back after its 1st fight.
Dad asked: how did u feel?
He replied: Dad it was wonderful.
Everyone was clapping for me
Moral: Take everything positively
☻Father: Your teacher says she finds it
Impossible to teach you anything!
Son: That’s why I say she’s no good!
☻Are you idiot?
Why you keep sending me SMS?
Who gave my number to you?
Never message me again.
Did I ever said that.
Than why don’t you sending SMS.
☻What is the difference between
Monkey & Donkey ?
Monkey saves this message
&
Donkey deletes this message.
Choice is urs……..:p
☻age of drinks;
1 to 3 milk
3 to 8 cerelac
9 to 13 horlicks
14 to 25 bear
26 to 40 whisky
41 to 60 tonic
after 60 anytime
“GANGA JAL
☻Q- What is the height of CONFIDENCE?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Ans- A 99 years old woman buying a SIM card with LIFE-TIME validity.
☻Who walks with us
through the difficult part of life?
Mon Dad?
No!
Husband Wife?
No!
Friends?
No!
One and only our slippers!!!!
So keep them safe
☻LOVE V/S EXAM
LOVE: lots of thoughts in mind but no guts to express
EXAMS: lots of guts to express but no thoughts in mind
☻One frog asked Astrologer: Please tell my future
Astrologer: A smart girl will touch you.
Frog: Great..! But when & where?
Astrologer: next semester in Zoology lab
☻A foreigner had very spicy Indian dinner.
Next morning he came out of the toilet & said,
now i understand Why indian use water.
Tissue Can catch fire…
☻Patient: Please don’t give me the injection.
I’m afraid of it’s pain.
Doctor: Don’t worry!!
I’ll inject you first that kills the pain!!!!
☻Son: The girl of our neighbors
don’t understand English.
Father: How do you know?
Son: I said to her “Give Me Sweet Kiss”
and she slapped me.
☻Funny Definitions
Home: A place where you can scratch where it itches.
Doctor: A person who cures the ills by pills, and kills by his bills.
Love: Loss Of Valuable Energy
Wife: Worries Invited For Ever
☻Mr.Bean got an Invitation for a Party,
They told him that he must put BROWN TIE only.
When he went to party he was shocked?
other were wearing pants & shirts also…
☻A typical student flips a coin and think.
If Head- will go to sleep.
If Tail- will watch a move.
If Stands- will listen music.
If Stays in air- will study
☻He+She= Love.
He+She+Love=Marriage.
He+She+Love+Marriage=Child.
He+She+Love+Marriage+Child=Family.
AND
He+She+Love+Marriage+Child+ Family=Problem.
So my dear friend
Be careful.
☻Hi all,
Let get stupid and Celeberate Miss call day
Send dis msg to ur frnds n get misbels in reply.
But reply me 1st
☻A student wrote a letter
to his father from hostel:
Dear dad…!
No money,No fun.
Your son!
His father replied:
Dear son!
So sad,Very bad
Your dad!