SantaBanta Sms

Jeeto: My husband`s career is in the ruins.
Preeto: Oh, I am sorry to hear that.
Jeeto: There is nothing to be sorry about. He is an Archaeologist

Some things are made for each other, For example,
Shoe and Socks, Soap and Water, Paper and Pen,
Me and ur Girl Friend.

If u fall, `Nobody` will care 4 u.
If u die, `Nobody` will cry 4 u.
Coz `Nobody` loves u.
Oh by the ways, my name is `Nobody`.

Long time ago only idiots used to read my sms.
And today, the history continues.

I would have answered your letter sooner, but you did not write me one.

Are you free for the rest of your life because I want a wife.

You can fall from a mountain,
You can fall from a tree,
But the best way to fall is,
To fall in love with me.

Son: Mummy, do all fairy tales begin wid `Once upon a time?`
Mummy: No sumtimes dey start wid, `Darling, I hav 2 work a little late at d office 2nyt.`

Ku Ka Ka Ka Ka
Ku Ke Ki Ki Ka
Ga Gi Gu Ga Ga
Gi Gi Ga
Congratulations, you have successfully learnt the monkey`s language.
Come to collect ur Banana.

Boy 1: There are several girls in our college who don`t want to marry.
Boy 2: How do you know?
Boy 1: I have proposed to many of them.

I know you think I am cute,
I know you think I am fine,
But like the other guys,
Take a number and wait in line.

Santa: Waiter, what soup is this?
Waiter: It is Bean Soup, Sir.
Santa: I don`t want to know what it has been, what it is now?

Banta: Who is an archaeologist?
Santa: A person whose career is in ruins.

Pappu: Papa, have you ever gone to Egypt?
Santa: No, why do you ask that?
Pappu: Well, where did you get this mummy from?

Think well, work well, eat well, sleep well, play well also.
If u can`t sms me then throw ur mobile in the well.

BF: Just one kiss darling please!
GF: But why do you beg so much for one kiss?
BF: If u give me that, the rest will follow without my asking.

Always kiss on the first date, you might not get another chance.

In the past, nobody had a watch but everyone had time. Now everyone has a watch but nobody has time.

Secretary: Boss, it`s ur wife on d phone. She says it`s ur birthday & she wants 2 kiss u & hug u over d phone.
Santa: Take d msg & give it 2 me later.

Santa: We have been married for 50 years. Why don`t we kill a chicken tonight?
Jeeto: Why kill the chicken? It is not his fault.

The world`s thinnest book entitled `What Woman Want has only one word written in it,`
EVERYTHING!

Man receives telegram - Wife dead. To be buried or cremated?
Man: Don`t take any chance. Burn the body and bury the ash.

After marriage husband and wife become two sides of a coin. They just can not face each other, but still they stay together.

Banta: What is a lie-detector machine?
Santa: It is called wife.

Santa: My girlfriend told me that I should be more affectionate.
Banta: What did you do then?
Santa: Got two girlfriends.

Banta: Why were you wearing sunglasses in the night?
Santa: I was late for home and wanted to keep my wife in the dark.

Marriage is such a romantic story in which the hero dies in the first chapter.

Jeeto to Santa: May you grow so rich your widow`s second husband never has to worry about a living!

Before marriage - She expects.
After marriage - She suspects.
After death - She respects.

Banta: Do you think that getting married on a Friday brings bad luck?
Santa: Of course, why would Friday be an exception?

His bad luck has now started. How is that? He has run off with my wife.

If your wife wants to learn to drive, don`t stand in her way.

The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his cheque book open.

Jeeto: Do you ever find life boring?
Santa: I didn`t until I met you.

Banta: What is the difference between a woman and a magnet?
Santa: Magnet has a positive side.

Preeto: My husband has no bad habit.
Jeeto: Does not he smoke?
Preeto: Only if he has a good supper, but I cannot remember the last time he smoked.

Banta: What book you like the most?
Jeeto: My husband`s cheque book.

Banta: How do you define marriage?
Santa: A very expensive way to get your laundry done free.

Santa: Are you married or do you cook your own food?
Banta: The answer to both the questions is `yes`.

Wife running after a garbage truck yelling: Am I too late for the garbage?
Driver: No jump in.

Santa divorced his wife because she was always complaining about the housework. She didn`t like the way he did it.

Banta: Some people kiss with both eyes closed.
Santa: Too bad, they marry the same way.

Truth of life - Mother`s tears hit your heart and wife`s tears hit your pocket.

Santa: I want to find out if I have grounds for a divorce?
Lawyer: Are you married?
Santa: Yes, of course.
Lawyer: Then you certainly have.

Never trust a man who says he is the boss at home. He probably lies about other things too.

Santa: I always leave an empty carton of milk in the refrigerator just in case someone wants black coffee.

When the God made the man first, he got jealous of man`s happiness.
So, he made a woman.

Santa: When I am gone you will never find another man like me.
Jeeto: What makes you think I would want another man like you?

Santa: If I could buy silence from the market I would have bought it.
Jeeto: Give me Rs 500/- and I will keep quite for a day.

Santa: Where do you want to go for our anniversary?
Jeeto: Somewhere I have never been.
Santa: How about the kitchen?