Naughty Message's

☻Son – I want a baby brother .
Mom – your dad is overseas.
When he comes back we will talk over it.
Son – why don’t you give him a surprise

☻A cat and a rooster sat by a lake, the cat fell in the lake, the rooster laughed! LESSON: when there's a wet pussy, there's a happy cock!

☻A young girl after her honeymoon
came fully exhausted and tired,
When her friends asked her what happened?
She replied :
When this 70 year old bastard told me
he has saved a lot from last 50 years,
“I thought It was MONEY”

☻A Sex expert was once asked whether a rape is possible while running. No, he replied, woman can run faster with her skirt up than a man with his pants down.

☻Teacher: What is the difference between
Call Girl, Girlfriend and Wife.??
Student: replied
Prepaid, Postpaid, Unlimited.

☻A man had "I LOVE YOU" tattooed on his dick. He went home and proudly showed his wife. "There you go again, trying to put words into my mouth", she said.

☻A baby dog asks mama dog: How papa looks like.
Mama dog said: Your dad came from behind,
I do not have the chance to see his face carefully!”

☻There is only one perfect child
in the world and every mother has it.
There is only one perfect wife
in the world and every neighbour has it.

☻One day there was this naked man and elephant, the elephant looks at the naked man for a few seconds, ask the naked man, "HOW CAN YOU BREATH THROUGH THAT LITTLE THING?"

☻A Secretary came angrily out of boss cabin
colleague asked: What happened?
She replied: He asked me are you free tonight?
I said-yes & bastard give me 50 pages of work.

☻1 day as I came home early from work, I saw a guy jogging naked. I said to the guy, "Hey buddy, why are you doing that?" He said, "Because you came home early."

☻Boy: I like the soft thing behind your braiz.
Girl: what?
Boy: your heart.
Girl: I love the big thing between your two legs.
Boy: what?
Girl: your bike..;-)

☻Do you like mathematics? If so, add a bed, subtract your clothes, divide your legs and we can multiply!

☻Difference between Problem , Talent and Kismat
Two boys love one girl = PROBLEM!
One boy love two girls = TALENT!
Two girls love one boy = Qismat!

☻A man was lost alone on an island.
One day he decide to build a wooden boat.
Suddenly a girl comes and
man used the wood for making bed.
Moral: A girl can change your aim! ;p

☻In a bar 1 Guy says 2 another
"I slept wid ur mom last nite"
D whole bar was waiting 4 d other Guy's response.

☻He laughs & says, "Lets go home dad, U r drunk"

☻Dr: Mrs. Parveen, good news for you.
Girl : What do you mean by Mrs. Parveen ?
I am Miss. Parveen
Dr: Oh . !! sorry Miss. Parveen, Bad news for you. . !!

☻When an apple is green, its ready to pluck. When a girl in eighteen, she is ready to...







VOTE. You dirty mind, Elections are near, but I know what you were thinking.



☻YOU! I TRUSTED YOU SO MUCH &
YOUR BIG MOUTH IS NEVER SHUT!
WHY DID YOU TELL OTHERS MY SECRET?
YOU REALLY DISAPPOINTED ME!
PLEASE STOP TELLING EVERYBODY THAT I M SO CUTE

☻Boy (to girl): What's there in between your legs?
Girl: Hell! And what's there in between your legs?
Boy: A sinner, who wants to go to hell.

☻Father to son:
If You don’t pass your Exams this time
Dont call me DAD,
After some days……..
Father:How is your result?
Son:Sorry Bashir Saab.

☻Girl & Boy were having sex.
Girl: Darling, I want you to kiss my lips!
Boy: Sure, which 1 would you prefer first, lower lip or upper lip?
Girl: Middle lips, the ones right in the middle of my legs.

☻A notice in a factory for girl workers.
“If your skirt is long, protect yourself from machines at work..
If it is short,protect yourself from men at work”

☻Lady1: How come your husband is always home on time?
Lady2: I have made a simple rule. SEX will be at 9PM, whether you are here or not.

☻In a Hospital two Nurses were discussing
about the New Doctor..
1st Nurse: He Dresses very well.
2nd Nurse: And very Quickly too;->

☻Hey dude Congrats! Heard u got selected as the first male model for Whisper advertisement. Why should girls have all the fun.

☻An journalist to mallika sherawat: What is the first thing you do in the morning when you wake up?
Mallika: I go back to my home!

☻Boy 2 Girl: On which date we should marry?
Girl: 22 December!
Boy: Any special about it?
Girl: It is the longest night of the year.

☻Met a girl the other day who has a seashell tattooed on her inner thigh. It's amazing, if you put your ear to it you can smell the sea!

☻Colour of underwear reflects your mood:
Red - Wild,
Black - Sexy,
Blue - Romantic,
Pink - Seductive
White - Calm,
Yellow - time to change your undrewear!

☻Q:Whats the difference between magnets and women

A: magnets have a positive side

☻Medical Science Says:
“Tight Clothing Slows Blood Circulation”
But the Truth is..
“Tighter The Woman’s Clothing,
Faster The Circulation Of MAN’s Bl0od” ;->

☻Mental anxiety,
Mental breakdowns,
Menstrual cramps,
Menopause...
Did you ever notice how all women problems begin with MEN!

☻Daughter: Mummy that man gave me 10 rupees to climb that tree.
Mother: Stupid !He wanted to see ur panty.
Daughter: I am clever I din't wear any of them.

☻Which Part...
of a man's body
has no bone
full of veins
loves pumping
and responsible 4
making LOVE!

ANSWER:
HEART!!! But i luv the way u think...

☻A dentist was caught raping a girl. Next day headline, "Dentist caught filling wrong cavity".

☻In school canteen,
there was a basket of apples with a written note:
“don’t take more than 1, God is watching!”
A little further there was a box of choclates,
a naughty child wrote:
“Take as many as u want. God is watching the apples”

☻Wives r incoming calls,
Lovers r outgoing calls,
Aunties r Toll-free calls,
Callgirls r Roaming calls,
Neighbour girls r Missed Calls.

☻It’s short thing, gets longer when u hold it, and pass between women breasts, and enters into a hole. What is it?
Car Seat Belt, you dirty mind.